Is it possible to practice gender roles before marriage? The answer is yes! You should be preparing for marriage before you get married. Many people even Christians are under the impression that gender roles only matter when you're married. How can that be possible, how would you take care of a home or a family if you never practiced your roles prior to marriage. The below verse from Proverbs is very clear.
Proverbs 18: 22
"He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."
The verse is very much saying she is wife before she gets married. She is aware of knowing how to take care of a home, her kids, her husband, and knows how to support and submit to her husband prior to marriage. Can you honestly say to yourself if you are not aware how to do anything like that, that the beginning of your marriage will be filled with happiness, peace, and glorifying to God. Yes, anybody can learn at any age, the problem is will they learn, and do they want to learn? People are getting married later in life now and many of those people do not know what is to be married and what it takes. For many people marriage is quite literally an extension of dating. It is no longer about duty, responsibility, and completing each other. A lot of that is the fault of so-called Christian women and men.
As Christian women we need to help other Christian women to get back to understanding and living by the role that God commanded us to live by. Part of that is being honest and telling women gender roles matter and it’s not just Bible filler. As women we have a very important and vital role that has been so undervalued and has been met with much contempt from the same women that call themselves Christian who obviously and purposely ignore Bible scripture.
So, the question is today, how to prepare for gender roles prior to marriage? The obvious answer is to learn how to cook, clean, and even sew. Yes, sew kids, husbands, and yes even us we cause snags and rips and instead of tossing the items away we should know how to sew them up and make them look as good as new. That is the obvious answer and it's not wrong but there's more to it then cooking, cleaning, and sewing. Being a Godly woman is about being kind, genuine, honest, supportive, loving, understanding, listening before we speak, being submissive, and leaving your family when you get married and following your husband. But how do we prepare for these roles in such a way where we know how to submit and follow our husband's leadership without experience? The answer is to follow God first and be a woman after God's own heart. Fear the Lord your God, read His word, love His word, and follow Him.
The Bible is the best guide to life, and it has all the answers you need. It is also the best guide in how to be a woman of God, a wife, and a mom. In fact, if you desire to be a wife and mom someday the best thing you can do for your family is to prepare for that role. Prepare by reading the Bible more, meditating on the word of God, pray more, and be a woman after God's own heart.
You can learn how to cook, sew, clean up after yourself, and practice having good finances. When you take care of a family it's about glorifying God. We can't except men to always do everything and including taking on a role of a woman. Too often women want men to work so they can stay home which in hindsight there is nothing wrong with that concept. The problem comes after he's working all day dealing with people who at times are not the most pleasant to be around and when he comes home many women expect their husbands to continue working. Not just any kind of work but to take on their wives work as well. Such as doing the dishes and cleaning up. Things that one would assume have already been taken care while he wasn't there. One would assume that if he is working hard so you can stay home and take care of the home that you would be taking care of the home.
Men now must work outside the home, do the jobs that are considered masculine around the house, and take on the feminine role as well to appease their wives all the while acting like prince charming. Heaven, forbid he comes home from a long hard day at work and doesn't have a pleasant attitude one day he might get labeled an abuser if he gets a little testy with his wife. Life isn't easy especially for men who bare so much responsibility. Why, then make it so hard and unpleasant for him when he comes home. His home and you are supposed to be a peaceful place not an added stress. Women have willingly and gleefully become added stressors but refuse to acknowledge they're ever the problem.
Before you get married take a long look in the mirror and ask yourself, "do you want to be a wife, or do you just want a husband?" If the answer seems too complicated for you then the answer is an obvious no to wanting to be a wife. Being a wife is more than just saying, "at least I'm not a certain age and still single." Being a wife is a beautiful thing, but it comes with a lot of responsibility that most women today aren't equip for and that is the honest and sad truth. That is largely due to the Church. We can blame social movements and the left all we want and while very true, but why did the Church fall for the social movement of feminism in the first place?
The Church really didn't do a good job at holding women accountable and telling them about the roles God has made for women. Feminism in a nutshell if you were to do your own history is a rejection of patriarchy. More importantly it is the rejection of God and his natural order. That is why most women today are feminists whether they know it or not or want to admit. Which is why most women are not equipped to be true Biblical wives and mothers. Many women who've stayed home while their kids were young and immediately joined the workforce when their kids went to school. Instead of teaching younger women how to be wives and mothers. Thus, creating more chaos and confusion than intended.
If women truly want to be wives and mothers and call themselves Christians start by listening and submitting to your fathers who are trying to guide, you to a better life. So many people want to be the exact opposite of their parents because they think it's "old school." However, when they start living by their own will they end up making a mess out of their lives something that could have been avoided. If you had good parents why not listen to them? They know more and they've already been through the drama.
Women have conflated taking care of a home to only being married. Well before you're married you must cook for yourself first. Do you really think it's wise to eat out all the time and scarf down toxic food and throwing away money? You also need to clean up after yourself you shouldn't live in filth. Stay on top of your finances and steer clear from debt. If you happen to get into debt pay it off when you can. Don't prolong it and enter a marriage with debt. Now your newlywedded husband must be responsible for your debt when the money could be going to a home for your future family. Stay active and healthy no one is saying you're supposed to look like a super model but someone who takes care of their health shows discipline and treats their body like a temple. Learn to listen before you speak after all you have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Show kindness and humility to others such as family, friends, strangers, and dare I think even enemies I know that's a hard one, but God does command us to do right by our enemies.
Women, it's time we become more modest. Modesty isn't something we start doing once we're married. We should be modest before marriage as well. How else you expect to attract a quality man if you are showcasing your body and getting the wrong kind of attention? Now, this is a big one and far too many Christians don't practice this anymore out of fear of losing someone and that is saving yourself for marriage. It's one thing to come to Christ after you've had sex but it's another thing when you claim to be a professing Christian and you continue to have sex prior to marriage.
1 Corinthians 6:16
What? know ye not that he which is joined to a harlot is one body? For two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
Sexual sin seems to be set apart more than other sins. It is taking away of something that is supposed to be scared like your body and allowing the wrong people in and allowing every person they've ever slept with inside of you. When two people come together and have sex they become one flesh. Imagine every person you ever slept with and their demons inside you and vice versa. It's an endless cycle of demons manifesting. Your body is supposed to be a scared place for the Holy Spirit adding in sex prior to marriage does so much harm and it leaves you empty and more alone than before. If you want to attract the right kind of man and a man of God, he needs to be able to see that through your purity, your virtue, and the way you live your life. Sin ages you and sexual sin is no different and you can see in a person’s eyes if they’re innocent or not.
If you've had sex prior to marriage, I encourage you to turn from your wicked ways and seek repentance if you haven't done so already. Ladies, save yourself for marriage, read the word of God, live by the word, and humble yourself and realize you have a lot of growing to do and maturing not just in life but in your faith as well. Remember ladies a Godly woman is the prettiest woman.
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